


One More Time

by JonesyBonesey



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JonesyBonesey/pseuds/JonesyBonesey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of going free, Chell is forced to continue testing. This time with 60% more Wheatley and 100%  more surprises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Space Was Overrated Anyways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chell saves Wheatley and begins testing anew!

“Catchmecatchmecatchme!!” Wheatley’s optic flicked around frantically, fearfully taking in the interstellar surroundings. 

This was it, he was going to get sucked into space. Poor little Wheatley, friendless and in space. There was no way that within the span of three seconds the lady would have forgiven him. All the little sphere could feel was remorse and terror. _‘Mostly terror.’_ He thought. The lady, his partner that he betrayed wouldn’t catch him.

Except she _did_. 

He looked up at Chell in shock as she pulled him closer to her torso. He was safe. She saved him. His relief vanished as soon as he heard _Her_ voice. 

“Oh thank god, you’re alri-” The large AI was silent. “You brought _him_ back into my facility.” GLaDOS loomed over Chell and the core and glared. 

Oh okay, well small mercies. He wasn’t going to get a slow death in space but a quick one here. That was fine. 

“Ah,” He cleared his throat despite lacking one, “Not a moron. Actually. Just a little FYI there. And if you, ah, if you’re going to kill me please make it fast?” 

GLaDOS looked between the human and the core, her optic adjusting into numerous expressions. She finally turned towards the human and frowned. 

“You know, for a while, I thought you were almost… “ She sighed. “I don’t even think that fool could calculate just how stupid that was.” She chuckled mockingly. “Oh well. You know, the surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.” 

A voice resounded through the room. “ _Caroline deleted._ ” 

The large AI was silent for a moment. “Goodbye, Caroline. As for you two, I think I have more tests for you to do. Maybe you’d like to see what it’s like to try and think with that tumor attached to you.” She constructed an elevator for the two. 

Chell entered it and descended. Betrayed yet again by a robot, her hard gaze settled on the AI. Chell would do as many tests as she could to get closer to another chance at destroying GLaDOS. The pair entered the testing chamber in silence. Wheatley was silent, for once. 

The only things buzzing through his servos was guilt. Horrible, painful guilt. He berated himself. His stupidity. His uselessness without his management rail. As much as he loved denying it, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind any longer of what he was truly built to do. He was a tumor. He would do nothing but weigh his partner down. The little core wished he had limbs to hide himself with. Hide his shame. Before he could continue his self destructive thoughts, Her voice resonated through the testing chamber. 

There was a large “01” on the wall and the rest of the room looked charred and battered. ‘My own handiwork.’ Wheatley thought smugly.

“I thought for fun we could start numbering at one. Fun fact: They say one in every three sentient beings isn’t a moron.” She paused. “I let you two think that one over a little. Happy testing.” Then the room was plunged in silence. 

Wheatley hated that silence. He felt the lady lift him up and tie one of her jumpsuit sleeves around his upper handle. Why was she treating him so well? He didn’t know. He didn’t particularly care, but he would make it up to her! Somehow! He would help her and give some hints! Surely three eyes would help out more than just two! 

“Alrighty then, the daring duo of Wheatley and uh you! Back again with our insanely high combined brain power!” He chuckled a little and looked up at Chell hopefully. She wasn’t even looking back. “Alright alright, I understand. Tests require complete focus. The utmost precision and- where are you running to? I was in the middle of a sentence you know.” 

Chell ignored him and picked up a box. She walked towards a button while trying to ignore the talkative little Core. 

Wheatley was exasperated. Why was he being ignored?! His ideas were at the very least decent! “Lady! Are you alright? You normally at least like, jump or something when I give you ideas.”

Chell gave a small smile and jumped onto the button before placing the box on it. Stairs leading to an open door activated. 

Wheatley cried out in surprise at the jolt. He didn’t know how his partner’s ankles hadn’t given out with all the jumping she does. Oh well. He looked up at her face, she had that focused look again. He always liked that look, especially when she was solving his brilliant tests. It was almost pouty, almost defiant, and very pleasing to know you were the cause of. For a split second he worried. That feeling, there was a warm feeling in his circuits. And not the kind where processors are overworked. Had a copy that “Itch” program stayed in him? He hoped not, that whole debacle was unbearable. 

“So, uh, you solved it. Good work, good work. Very nice team dynamic we have here! Brains and brawn. Mind and muscle. Wheatley and uh…” He looked up at the woman. “You never told me your name, not that you can speak, I think. You know with the brain damage and all. But you should tell me your name!” 

Chell glanced down at the core and stepped into the elevator. She shook her head and stared out of the glass elevator. 

‘Well that was a failure.’ He looked dejectedly up at her. He should’ve known that she would be reluctant to answer. Not only because of the lack of a voice, but because he also was a betrayer. Wheatley the betrayer. That didn’t sound very good. Not very _let’s-be-friends-again-ish_ at all, really. 

Chell stepped into the next room and paused, probably waiting for Her to speak. GLaDOS never did, she must’ve been spread thin trying to repair all of Wheatley’s damage. The first thing he noticed as his partner began to solve the puzzle was the insane amount of turrets. There were nearly around every corner! How Chell maneuvered past all of them, knocking them over and deactivating them, well it made him “Itch” again. Chell was about to step through a doorway when he noticed something.

“WAITWAITWAIT don’t leave!!” 

Chell glared down at the little sphere. 

“Sorry! Sorry for yelling. But, ah, there’s a weird panel over there and I see something behind it!!” He nodded towards the panel and sure enough it was bent at an odd angle, just large enough that maybe Chell could squeeze through. She walked over to one of the turrets and used it to shoot one of GLaDOS’s camera’s off of the wall. 

She patted his hull and kept moving. Wheatley lit up at that. He helped! And the lady appreciated it! Acknowledged it even! He tried to lean his optic closer to her hand. 

He chuckled triumphantly. “Just a little help, I’m giving you. Nothing short of what a good friend would do for their friend. Also please continue patting me it’s very nice.” 

Chell walked towards the broken panel, letting Wheatley babble on before untying him from her jumpsuit and placing him on the ground. He looked up at her confusedly. 

“I know we’re partners and all but I don’t. I don’t have legs, or arms for that matter. And I don’t think I’ll be able to scope out the area or, you know, do whatever it is you had in mind.” 

The woman dropped to her stomach and pushed the core in front of her face. Wheatley appreciated the view. 

“Oh! Brilliant Idea! I’ll go ahead of you, and you can push me into the room! I’ll say a codeword if something’s up, what should our codeword be. Probably something that hallmarks our friendship, yeah? Maybe something like… ‘Trusted Companion!’ or ‘Hey Best Friend there’s something deadly in here!’ or you know something like that. Either of those sound good?” 

Chell wasn’t paying any attention to his rambling and the little core fell silent. 

“You know, you have a nice face. Don’t know if I’ve mentioned you specifically. I know I complimented all humans because you’re not smelly and you are very great. But you specifically, I like your face. It’s soft looking. And uh, your eyes are almost the same color as mine, so that’s nice. Another similarity between us. Besides us being friends, that’s another similarity of ours.”

The hole in the panel led to a wide expanse of catwalks between the testing rooms. Even Chell was a little shocked, not that it showed on her face. She hadn’t had much perspective on how extensive Wheatley’s damage had been. She stood and tucked the core under her arm. At least the mayhem he caused helped with something it would be much easier now more than ever to sneak around GLaDOS’s gaze. 

Wheatley looked around him at all the broken testing rooms. They were smashed and crushed, some even had smoke billowing from them. He spoke in a small voice to himself. 

“I did this? Tiny little Wheatley, did this?” 

Chell looked down to the core in pity. He really didn’t understand what he was doing while he was in charge. Poor thing, he sounded so scared. Chell didn’t think he was something so harsh as a moron, but he sure was clueless. She patted his hull. Maybe she would disclose her name to the little robot. She brought Wheatley close to her face and whispered. Her voice was sore and hoarse from lack of use. 

“Chell.” 

Wheatley blinked and stared for a moment before looking very surprised and very terrified. 

“You can talk? How long have you been able to do that?? Why’ve you been letting me just carry on these one sided conversations if you could speak this whole time? I know my voice is quite charming, but, you know, still. It’s common courtesy, mate.” 

Chell rolled her eyes and started walking. She pointed to herself. “Chell.”

Wheatley started again, this time trying to make sense of what she was trying to convey. What in the hell was a “Chell”? And what did it have to do with the lady? ‘Wait a second…’

“Is this “Chell” thing… Is that your name, love?” 

The woman nodded as she portaled onto higher ground. Thanks to those pumping stations in the older parts of the facility pipes carrying all different types of gels were all over the place! She spotted in the distance, a door with a little port built just for cores to “hack” open. She hadn’t seen one of those since she first woke up! And lucky her there was some Propulsion and Repulsion Gel nearby leaking from some pipes. She made a runway in front of her with the orange gel, and a series of blue gel splatters leading to the mysterious corridor. Chell gripped Wheatley as tightly as possible before skating onto the orange gel. 

Wheatley was incredibly alarmed. He didn’t quite know what Chell was planning, but he knew he didn’t enjoy going so fast. And he did not enjoy when Chell started jumping to sickening heights almost three times in a row. He screamed the entire time. 

“Don’tdropmedon’tdropme!!!” With his eye shutters tightly closed. By the time the two finally landed on solid ground, Wheatley was trembling. 

“Could you warn me next time you want to do something deadly and take me along? Please?” He sighed and looked around. There seemed to be nothing around? It looked like a dead end. “So, uh, where are we exactly? I don’t see anything around here.” 

Chell walked over to the port and plugged Wheatley into the wall. He gasped at the surprise sensation. 

“Man alive, how many times do I have to tell you to warn me before you do something? Honestly.” He waited a bit then chuckled nervously. “Ah, you know the drill. I can’t do this while you’re watching, mate.” 

Chell walked closer and stared at him wide eyed, making the core more nervous. She knew he didn’t like it, but wanted to make him squirm. 

“Look, love. I’m really happy, really am, that you consider me to be a close friend again. But ah, I-I certainly can’t hack now that you’re so cl-close to me.” He tried to shoo her away with his handles to no avail. “Could you at least just cover your eyes or something?” 

Chell continued staring, she was having a little fun for once. 

“Okay, a staring contest is it. Well I can’t lose, because I have no eyes. Just this optic here, nothing organic about me, so I don’t need to blink. I win. Now stop staring please.” He could feel himself overheating under all the attention, but he didn’t really get why. Chell gave a quick smirk and closed her eyes. 

‘Well it’s better than nothing.’ Wheatley supposed in his mind. He “hacked” open the door and sighed in relief when he was pulled off of the port. He turned on his flashlight as Chell carried him into the dark wing of the facility. 

“I wonder what this place was used for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I writing this? I just don't know. Will I continue writing this? HELL YES.


	2. Canned Peaches Are Pretty Tasty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheatley and Chell explore their odd, new, environment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 82 years, so take this and thrive.

The first thing Chell noticed about this mysterious place was the floor. It was carpeted. She couldn’t remember the last time she stepped on anything other than metal or the moon rock painted surfaces in the testing chambers, let alone something as soft as carpet. She stomped on the ground a little and plumes of dust rose from the floor. Chell let out a little cough and Wheatley flinched away from the dust. 

“I would have to advise against not, I repeat, not, doing that. I know this may be hard to understand, brain damage you know, but we don’t exactly know what this weird soft ground wing was used for. Last thing I need is you to die while I’m off of my management rail, I can’t exactly move around like this.” He chuckled nervously and eyed the carpet. They had this stuff in the rooms of the subjects in cryogenic sleep, but he never was close enough to the ground to notice or even care. 

Chell surveyed her surroundings and turned abruptly when they reached an open doorway in the hall. Wheatley quickly shone his light around the area before Chell haphazardly walked in. She didn’t really take heed of his precautions, despite how uncharacteristically useful they were. 

“So, uh, what is all this? The rooms I was in charge of never had any of this stuff. Is this just human stuff?” He looked up at Chell curiously. 

Chell noticed a fridge, some countertops, a sink, a stove, and even a coffee maker. Had they stumbled upon a kitchen? A real kitchen? And from the looks of it, it was completely untouched by GLaDOS and her robotics. That was a plus! But if the AI didn’t have control over it then that meant everything here was not sterile and non-perishable foods would be long spoiled. 

She’d probably get fatally ill if she bothered opening the fridge, so Chell decided to do the next best thing and check the pantry to the left of the fridge. She opened the doors to reveal, much to her luck, an entire shelf of canned foods other than beans! She placed Wheatley on the table and filled her arms with the cans of food, she couldn’t believe her luck! Peaches, apples, corn… all kinds of things were here for the taking! She placed them all carefully onto a countertop, smiling all the while.

Wheatley didn’t know what to focus on; his optic was flitting between Chell and the odd cans and the rest of the kitchen. He wished the scientists who built him had included a more extensive knowledge of human-y type things because he was more confused than he had ever been before.

“So, uh, partner,” He looked questioningly at Chell, “Mind telling, uh, miming to me what’s going on? Because I’m not really sure why you’re so happy about these cans. Hate to break it to you, but we see those literally all the time. Noooothing special really about a bunch of cans.” As he nodded to himself as he talked Chell couldn’t help but chuckle. 

For someone meant to take care of humans it was still so unbelievable to Chell how little he knew about them. 

Rather than attempting to use her hoarse voice to explain, she elected to just open a can of food and show him that these were different than the others. The woman then stood and began rifling through the many drawers in the kitchen until she found a knife. Wheatley flinched at the sight of it. 

“Be careful with that. You wouldn’t want to accidentally stab a sentient robot. Or harm a handsome and sensitive robot who is your friend.” He paused. “Please don’t stab me.” 

The woman shook her head and opened a can of peaches. Wheatley looked on curiously. 

“So… What all is in that can that makes it so exciting?” He looked up at her with as much skepticism as he could muster. 

Chell tilted the can of peaches for him to peek inside. The robot squinted and reeled back from the can. 

“Not to alarm you, but those look eerily like human entrails.” 

Chell rolled her eyes and continued eating. Wheatley for once was silent. He tried to take in as much of his surroundings as possible, but it was incredibly dark. When Chell had finally had her fill of food, she picked Wheatley up once more, ready for more exploring. 

They walked out of the kitchen and back down the hallway. Chell noted at least five bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms, some sort of computer room, a laundry room, an exercise room, and an extensive lounge area at the end of the hall. 

After surveying the area, Chell looped back to one of the bedrooms and into the bathroom. If this place had running water it would be just what she needed. She’d been on her feet for a while and it wasn’t as though she didn’t get tired. Now was Chell’s chance for some much-needed relaxation and she was going to take as much as she could get from this little pocket of safety. 

She groped around in the dark until she reached the bathroom then tapped his optic. 

Wheatley blinked and huffed indignantly. “Wh-Whoa there, love. I know we’re all buddy-buddy now, but personal space is still important! Especially dealing with an expensive piece of electronics such as myself. Who knows what your clumsy, brain-damaged hands could do to me! I could die. Then you’d have no one to hack your doors or serenade you with my voice.” 

Chell rolled her eyes and gave the core a withering smile, then pointed to his optic. 

Wheatley shrugged or at least did what he could while being held in her hands. “Don’t know what you want me to do, Chell. It’s too bloody dark in here to see anything anywa-” 

Chell nodded frantically. 

“Ooooh, I get ya now. Shield your eyes, this will be very, ah, bright.” He flicked his flashlight on. “Better?” 

The woman patted his hull again in thanks. Wheatley was beside himself at the praise. He could swear his processors were firing at an almost alarming rate, every fiber of his being just loved being praised. Even if it was just barely scratchings of actual acknowledgment, the little core would take what he could get from Chell. 

“Mmm very nice, as always. Your hands are the most lovely things, right up there with your aforementioned face, and um, other human-y bits.” 

While Wheatley rambled on, Chell surveyed the bathroom. It was sizeable from what she could recall from her time before Aperture. It had a shower, a separate bath, a long countertop with a sink, and a mirror that covered an entire wall. She gazed at herself in the mirror and grimaced. 

Spending what felt like a lifetime fighting various robots, it seemed, turned her face into something haggard. Not that Chell really remembered what she looked like before all this Aperture nonsense. It wasn’t like there was any time to stop and preen, she couldn’t even think of any surfaces that would’ve been reflective enough to discern her appearance. She gently scraped her fingertips across her skin. It felt… slippery. Almost as if someone had coated her with Propulsion Gel, or oil.

She carefully removed her portal gun and leg bracers then began fiddling with the faucets. Surprisingly, after toying with the shower handles for only a few moments, dark tinted water began spurting through the showerhead.

Chell could’ve wept at the sight. 

Her forgotten core companion was beside himself with confusion and worry. 

What exactly was his lady doing? She never ever took off what he secretly dubbed her “Aperture Enhancements”, not that he blamed her. She was squishy in every regard and he really wasn’t sure if she’d be able to lift those heavy testing cubes and spheres without it. He was willing to let it slide for now though. His companion’s newfound “non-stoicness” was definitely a cause for some celebratory exploration, even if it involved dank pipeworks and dusty old carpets.

“Not to burst your bubble, but I’m fairly sure all of whatever’s in here is diseased. I mean, think about it. We don’t know how long it’s been since anyone’s cleaned the place, and the last thing I would ever want is my dear friend contracting, uh,” He glossed through his faulty Internal Human Caretaking Database, “Tetanus. You could definitely, one hundred percent contract tetanus from this. And, uh, the Black Plague too. Oooh, that one sounds nasty doesn’t it?” He nodded up at the woman, hoping that through the brain damage she could see just how reckless she was being.

Chell, however, did not care about what he was saying as per usual. She opted for abandoning the room anyways, the faucets weren’t seeming like they’d be spewing clean water anytime soon. She left the water running just in case the water began running clear and vowed to come back and check on it later.

The duo meandered through the halls once again while Wheatley showered Chell with praise for pushing past her “primal human urges” and listening to him. 

“I knew there was a little bit of non-brain damage-y thought processing in there! All you needed was my helpful and incredibly articulate guidance. No need to thank me though, it’s just what a best friend would do.” 

Chell rolled her eyes and flicked his hull. 

The robot squawked indignantly. "Ow! Watch it! I understand that your brutish human tendencies couldn't begin to comprehend what kind of intricate wiring I have but, please be careful with me. The last thing I need is hardware damage, especially since there aren't any licensed technicians around. I mean who else is gonna hack open your doors if I'm damaged?"

Chell tuned Wheatley's chastising out, as she had grown to do out of habit. She hoped that he hadn’t said anything too pertinent as she wandered into a new room. It was very spacious and very littered with skeletons. 

Some were slouched over a bar while others were leaned against each other on a couch. The rest simply littered the floor. All of the skeletons wore lab coats.

“Man alive…” Wheatley whispered in disbelief. “I guess maybe this place wasn’t actually untouched by Her? These humans just look extremely dead, I would know. These ones are uncannily similar to the ones in those relaxation chambers.” He wondered if it was the neurotoxins that got them or if it was something far worse like those mantis men he’d briefly read about while hooked into GLaDOS’s chassis. He desperately hoped it wasn’t mantis men. 

Chell glanced around the room, gently removing the skeletons from the couch and making her way to the bar. There had to be some kind of salvageable drink back there. Pushing aside some more skeletons, she found something even more interesting that some alcohol. Chell tapped Wheatley’s hull and pointed to the object. 

His optic swiveled to face Chell. “Wha-? What is it, love? Did you find something? Do you need my flashlight?” He glanced at what his partner was pointing at and did a double take before screaming. “Holy hell! Th-That’s a core, mate!”


	3. Enter Player Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chell and Wheatley fix this mysterious new Core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I expect to have this new chapter up so quickly? No. Is it here? Yes.

Chell placed her companion onto the bar counter then lifted the lifeless robot into her arms. Truthfully, she’d thought Wheatley had been joking when he complained about being fragile. She’d have to be more careful with him, lest he end up like this poor bastard. 

Its hull sagged in all directions with wires loose and unkempt, the optic which should have been annoyingly blinding yet endearing, was dark and dusty. She noticed grooves along the back of its hull and squinted while she rubbed away at the thick layer of dust embedded in the engravement. Something was written there, and Chell was itching to know what. After a few moments of wiping, spitting, and coughing as dust blew into her face, the grooves felt more defined and probably readable if it weren’t so dark in the room. She pulled Wheatley closer and pointed to the silent machine. 

Wheatley was doing everything in his power not to stare at the corpse in front of him. Sure, he could stomach human corpses. Humans were squishy and inherently weak. Sure they had arms and legs and fairly standard cognitive abilities, but they were destined to die. Machines, especially amazingly handy ones like himself, were meant to last for eternity. They were meant to solve the one permanent problem with humans and seeing a clone of himself dead and busted to bits terrified him. So naturally, when Chell pulled him closer to the thing, he panicked. 

“Agh no no no! Don’t put me near that thing! I might catch whatever caused it to die!” He tried in vain to roll backward. “Please please I’ll do anything, love just... just don’t put that thing near me.” His optic display was a tiny blue pinprick, quivering and staring at the lifeless core in front of him. He was rattling like maracas filled with bolts.

Chell smiled sympathetically at him. She supposed all robots had different reactions to the deaths of their own. Omnipresent AIs like GLaDOS seemed to be too caught up in being insufferably rude and homicidal to care about broken robots. Wheatley seemed to harbor far more of a human reaction to it or at least a human reaction to seeing a deceased Core. He didn’t seem to care too much about turrets from what she could remember. Chell picked Wheatley up and patted his hull then tapped the engraving she cleaned on the other core. 

Wheatley hummed in thanks. “I suppose if I were to be closer to _that_. Then the safest place would be as close to you as possible.” He glanced at what Chell pointed at, shining his flashlight on it. “Lucille? Kind of an odd name don’t you think? Nothing like yours, anyways. Must’ve been the human who built her or something.” He turned to look back at Chell and powered off his light. She looked deep in thought, with her eyes practically staring through “Lucille”. Then without warning, she moved Wheatley under one of her arms, and Lucille under the other. She sat on the floor next to the couch and put them both down then started fiddling with Lucille. 

“I wouldn’t if I were you. We don’t know what this Core’s personality was before they were Deactivated. You might damage something integral just playing around with those wires. Those are very private and sensitive bits after all. I mean, what if I went poking around your body while you were dead,” he didn’t like the thought of that, “or maybe just asleep. I can imagine you’d be cross with me. And you might make that face you always make you know.” He looked up at Chell who was staring bemusedly at him. “Oh brilliant! That’s the one!” He chuckled to himself. “Where was I… oh yeah. You’d need to plug the Core into a computer and run a system diagnostic to know what was wrong.” 

Chell stood and picked the two cores up. All she needed to find was a computer? Piece of cake. 

The woman scrounged around the entire area for the next few hours, looking for any signs of a working computer. She’d given up hope of finding a computer what wasn’t dead or defunct and was rifling around the bar for a non-broken bottle of something to drink when her hand brushed against a bright red button. She stared at the button for a long moment, everything in her being screamed to press it. If there was one truth about the hellish facility, it was that pressing buttons opened doors and with any luck an exit. So she pressed it. The rectangular section of the wall behind the bar began sliding down to reveal a miniature lab with working electricity and a computer. 

The lab was very cluttered with stacks of server towers lining the walls and a big three screened computer rig in the center of the room. On each side of the rig, there was an outlet to plug in cores.

While Chell searched for a working computer, Wheatley at first had tried to help her out. He pointed out things he thought were important, told some jokes to see if she’d smile, tried to coax some more words out of her, but she seemed extremely hinged on this whole “find the computer room” thing. Feeling unneeded he’d powered himself down. Wheatley was positive his Chell could handle herself if something happened, and if she couldn’t he’d wake right up with a little tap on his hull. 

_‘Hope she’s given up on this whole computer thing. We already have more than enough Personality Cores on our team already,’_ he thought as he powered himself back on. He’d be there to support her through the disappointment of not finding that computer and soothe her with his charms.

“Man alive, you really did find a working piece of equipment in here,” He muttered to himself in awe. “W-Well, ah, good job then.” His plans of this remaining a group of two were going downhill fast. “Too bad neither of us knows how to run the program, oh well.” 

The woman squinted suspiciously at her companion. He was acting strangely… stranger than normal at least. Normally he’d be chomping at the bit to show off his “hacking skills”. She plugged the defunct core into the outlet and a message popped up on the screen. 

_"Password required for Personality Core System Diagnosis."_

Well damn. She glanced over at her companion who was staring intently at everything else in the room that wasn’t the computer. Very suspicious indeed. Chell tapped his hull and pointed to the message on the screen.

“What’s that? Oh no, looks like we need a password and we just don’t have one, ah well. Better luck next time, mate. It’s not like I could hack it or something there's isn’t another terminal in here,” he noticed the outlet next to him on the wall,“Well we’ve, um, we’ve been walking around this dirty old wherever this is for a while, and I’ve got god knows what in my port I don’t think I’d, ah, be able to connect, yes.”

 _‘Score one for Sneaky Me,’_ the core thought smugly. 

He’d come up with a brilliant ruse if he did say so himself and although he was still working on Operation: “Be Friends with Chell Again”, he felt that this little lie was for her own good. Having him was more than enough companionship for their adventure. The last thing Chell needed was some new Core gallivanting about, talking with her, making friends with her, making her realize that maybe he should be left behind… 

The woman picked him up by his handles to look at his port, but Wheatley swiveled his optic to look at her. 

“Ah, what’re you doing there, partner? We leaving, finally?” He nodded in hopes that they actually were leaving. 

The woman pushed at his optic in an attempt to turn him around. 

“Hey! What on earth are you doing?!” 

Chell pointed to the computer screen. 

“Oh you want me to read the screen to you bless your little human heart.” he turned his optic to the computer screen. “Well it says, um, ‘Password required for Perso’一 _ohhh man alive_ ,” he groaned in a way eerily similar to his time in charge of the facility. 

Once his proverbial back had finally turned the woman blew a gust of air as hard as she could into his port then dug her finger inside to attempt swiping out and dust. Both companions froze in place at his reaction. 

Wheatley flew off the handle after his initial shock. He whipped his optic around to glare at her. 

“Are y- _kzzt_ -you tr- _try_ -rying to _kill me_!? T-Take your fing- _kssh_ -ger out of there!” If robots could blush, Wheatley would have been completely red. His vocal processors were skipping and stuttering as his main CPU overheated. He tried to wrangle in his thoughts lest his words come out as static.“You don’t just shove your gru-grubby little fingers in my port! It’s common courtesy. You also don't blow air into me either, okay?” He sighed. “How would you like it if I just shoved my handles into your ports, hm? I don’t think you’d appreciate that at all.” 

He huffed indignantly and pouted as hard as someone without a face could. 

Chell had no idea his reaction would have been like that. She stared at Wheatley worriedly. Had she damaged him in some way? Was he still going to be able to function as a door opener/hacker? Was he going to deteriorate and die now that she’d messed him up?

Wheatley could have melted under Chell’s affectionately worried gaze.

“I’m alright, love. I’m not permanently damaged. You, just, ah, spooked me a little is all. Port’s pretty sensitive I guess you could say. I’ve got a lot of electrical receptors back there and humans, surprisingly, have some electrical current running through them. I know I was surprised when I heard it too, but it’s true. You have just enough electricity to react with my port so, moral of the story: please don’t touch it with your bare hands.” He chuckled and smiled up at Chell. “It takes a lot more than a little graze on my port to take me out. I’m a tough cookie! Oof!” 

Chell pulled him into a brief, but endearingly tight, hug. 

“O-Oh what’re we doing now? Are you cold? I guess I was overheating a little, I’ve got some thermal energy to share.” He looked up at her and pondered at her expression. 

_‘That’s a new one.’_ He cataloged it into his Chell File. He’d never seen her so, relieved? That was the closest his human knowledge database could come up with. Had she really been that worried about him? The very thought warmed him to his core. It made him Itch but in a more pleasant, non-maddening way. _‘No way some newbie Core’s gonna be as close to Chell as I am. I may as well have some other sap to do the grunt work while I tend to my human’s emotional companionship needs.’_

God, he was just so brilliant sometimes. 

“Not that I don’t enjoy this whole heat sharing thing, I do love it, by the way, feel free to do whatever this is whenever you want, but don’t we have a Core to reboot? Just plug me into the wall and I’ll work my magic.” He waggled his upper handle and gave his best smirk. 

Chell nodded and plugged him into the wall, then closed her eyes. 

Wheatley lavished Chell with praise. “That a girl, see! I didn’t even have to remind you not to look! We’re learning! Soon it’ll be like you were never in cryostasis like there’s no brain damage at all!” 

She rolled her eyes as best she could while they were closed and Wheatley got to work hacking. Hacking was honestly just like talking but with code instead of words and if he was good at anything, it was talking. 

A message popped up on his optic display. 

_‘Ah, the password interface. Time to make some guesses.’_ And guess he did, over 200,000 words a second. The good thing about being built to work with humans was that he knew a lot of words. He practically had an entire dictionary in his CPU, which wasn’t much, humans had surprisingly little words once you knew them all. He eventually cracked the passcode, “Sarsaparilla”, and grinned smugly. 

“And done. No need to thank me, but if you’d like to thank me feel free to. I especially like when you gently pat me if you’re taking suggestions.” 

Chell opened her eyes and looked back at the desktop. Well, he did do it, and by god it was fast. Chell patted him in thanks, acquiescing to his thinly veiled plea for attention. 

She started rifling through the files on the computer, none were too important to her. Things like “GLaDOS: Phase three”, a few last wills and testaments, recipes for cake… she’d come back to those later. Finally, she found an icon with the Aperture symbol on it labeled “Core Diagnosis/Repair”. That had to be it. It was begging to be clicked, so she unhooked Wheatley from the machine, just in case it started repairing him instead, and opened the program.

The entire chamber began to whir and heat up as Lucille’s hardware and software were checked for damage. Everything suddenly began to glow red. 

“Critical Repairs needed. Please leave at least three feet between you and the machine. Thank you for your cooperation.” 

The message repeated a few times before several robotic arms protruded from behind the computer and were soldering and welding and fixing Lucille’s casing and wires. The sound of the metal tools scraping against scraping at the core was unbearable, at least for Chell. She ground her teeth and covered her ears. Suddenly it stopped and the repair station glowed green. 

_“Repairs complete! Be sure to return your core for Weekly Maintenance.”_ Read the desktop screen before going black. 

“Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? It’s me! Lucy!” The previously defunct core was now very much alive. The iris of her optic was a pale pink donut shape with darker circles within it. Lucy’s voice had almost a southern drawl to it, not in an unintelligible sense, but in a “southern belle” type tone. It was jarring, at least to Chell. 

While GLaDOS and Wheatley had their own airs of seriousness and silliness respectively, this new voice sounded much more, well, human. 

The woman carefully walked over to Lucy with Wheatley in her arms. 

Lucy jumped at the noise of Chell approaching her. “Oh hi there! Pleased to meetcha! I’m Lucy the Morale Enhancement Core!”

Just like that the entire secret wing roared to life as she was lifted by mechanical arms onto her management rail. 

“Much better, now we can see each other! So who’re you guys?” 

Wheatley cleared his throat. Not because he had phlegm in his circuits or something, more like an assertion of dominance. It was important that this newbie knew who was top Core. 

“Ahem. My name is Wheatley, and this is _my_ , catch emphasis on "my", human. And you’re gonna help us break out of the facility.”


End file.
